Fall 2022

I had a moment today when I realized life was truly back to normal. I had a mask on when I got my haircut- because the person who cuts my hair had Covid 2 weeks ago, but aside from the wearing of the mask, which honestly was no big deal, I felt like I did pre-2020.

Unceremoniously, I was rushing from place to place, dropping one kid here and picking up another there, squeezed in a little shopping, and before I knew it I was back home and it was 5:00 (This was a Saturday).

Hmmm.

Let me reflect on my last post. Clasp my hands in the non-dominant position.

How did it feel? How was it to not have to think? How is it to realize that this is one of the first times I have had a completely routine non-descript day that felt like Covid never happened?

Not that it was over but that it NEVER HAPPENED.

The thinking the planning, the caution, the thinking and thinking and thinking was simply gone. And now as I slow down with it all and think about it I feel grateful. Immensely grateful. I feel the luxury of normalcy. I feel the sanctity of sporting events, and human contact, and hugging and standing next to people.

I am thinking about my children in their normal routines, and school and having their friends come in and out and I feel an awareness for how hard life was for them for 2 whole years. I recognize that two years for children feels like 10.

How will this have helped form them? How will this leave its’ mark, for good and for bad?

I also know that there is a spectrum of feelings around this. For some they still feel unsafe, for others they never felt unsafe, and I guess I was somewhere in the middle. And I guess the feeling of caution has haunted me more than I knew. But today I realized I was really free.

I am grateful that we were able to do what we did. To survive being locked in our homes, and fearful of everything. And I do not want to take our freedom for granted or our experiences as routine.

So, what is our work?

Which is how I end most therapy sessions…what emotional work do we want to do to make our lives richer and fuller? My work is to stay aware of our freedom, in whatever way we have it. As small as being able to see a friend without anxiety, or hug someone we love. To stay vigilant about the things we care about and not take them for granted. That is certainly my work.

What is yours?