May is the Moment for Mental Health

May is mental health awareness month. I guess that means it is mental health’s “moment”.

It is the appointed month that people can feel free from shame about having anxiety, depression, or some other issue regarding emotional health.

They are allowed to question their lives and admit to struggling in relationships.

Hmmmm. 

Incredibly, we seem to need this month to reassure people of what I see as a certainty- the experience of emotional discomfort and dysregulation. I see emotional turbulence as a rite of passage.

I believe those who feel complexly and profoundly are typically deep thinkers, ritual pursuers, and those who crave intimacy and connection.

Hard feelings are part of the human condition. People who experience these feelings are often labeled as “emotional” or “sensitive,” but I believe these are signs of depth and authenticity.

They reveal a craving for intimacy, which can sometimes manifest as sadness, self-doubt, or even turmoil. Instead of viewing these emotions as weaknesses to be suppressed, we should see them as signals of our humanity.

As a therapist, I aim to help patients embrace their emotions instead of trying to minimize or control them. Humans aren’t robots—we have a vast range of feelings. 

Too often, people come to therapy to “tone down” their emotions or become “cool” and detached.

Look at romance- we always want to be pursued, not the pursuer, the one with less emotional risk and less skin in the game.

In other words, the less human we appear, the more we feel we are in control.

How about we work harder to accept our emotions and embrace them?  What if we celebrated our intensity instead of trying to mute it?

How we communicate these big, uncomfortable feelings is the real work of therapy, not making them disappear. 

So many people who seek therapy hate conflict and question their ability to make decisions.  They look to others as a lamppost to guide their behavior and actions.

Therapy is a way of identifying and restoring our internal guidance system.

We seem to get into the most trouble when we stop listening to our own internal guidance and begin to live according to the voices and directions of others.

How can I live my life and feel good when I am doing it according to someone else's voice, posts, or direction?

Even if it feels risky, if we take it slow and act with intention, our own guidance system is usually the one we should follow. If we have lost that voice, therapy helps us find it.

Therapy helps us access our limbic system, find our voice, and re-learn how to respect and follow that voice. 

As we move through Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s remember that our emotions make us human.

I read somewhere recently, to paraphrase, why can’t we all agree to put our smartphones away so we can focus on connecting with other humans?  It only really works if we all decide to do it together.

Emotions are the same.

We all have them.

They are often messy and complicated, yet they are also the source of our greatest joy. Can we all agree to have them and express them without judgment? Wouldn’t life be much easier if we checked our emotional judgment at the door?

That’s my goal.  How about you?