SOS: Social Media
We gotta reign it in. For ourselves and our kids. We must work harder at being present.
We need to re-focus on being in our own moments as they happen instead of focusing on taking a video and watching our moments later. Yes- it is a gift that we get to watch the moments over and over, and share them with others, but we are robbing ourselves of the actual emotion connected to the experience.
We have grown so accustomed to reaching for our phone in anticipation of what we may capture, that we ourselves psychologically and emotionally miss it in real time.
Depression and anxiety are on the rise, particularly in teens. As of February 2023 nearly 20% of highschool students reported serious thoughts of suicide and 9% had an attempt. One of the most important criteria that accounts for their depression is a chronic evaluation of where they stand socially.
Developmentally and in terms of decision making their brains are still forming. Teens cannot make the same decisions adults can, the plasticity of their brains is still tender, and intensely impacted by exposure and imagery.
Unconsciously, meaning without knowing it, when they are looking at social media they are constantly questioning what is real? Pictures of perfection, groups hanging out, meals that are doctored and curated, thrilling activities that make every-day life seem mundane and even inadequate.
Teens may say they know that imagery is fake, but, emotionally, they are interpreting a portion of it as real.
This is developmental- their brains have not formed enough to truly discern false stimuli from truth. Teens are developmentally wired for impulsivity which is why they make mistakes, and make questionable choices. It is part of growing up and learning how to be adults.
Teens today have no idea what it is like to not be distracted by technology. They have grown up knowing where their friends are at all times because they are tracking each others locations. They snap images of themselves and send it to their friends continuously. When someone is offline it is the exception not the rule.
This inability to be present, the discomfort and unfamiliarity of downtime without a screen is increasingly complicated. But, it comes down to the adults to be the grownups in the room.
In the wise words of Sherry Turkle, in her now classic book, Reclaiming Conversation, she sums up technology as a “flight from conversation”- she says:
“The moment is right. We had a love affair with technology that seemed magical. But like great magic, it worked by commanding our attention and not letting us see anything but what the magician wanted us to see. Now we are ready to reclaim our attention- for solitude, for friendship and for society”.
Adults, we still have the wisdom to know and teach what a world was like without technological distress. We had the luxury and freedom to be alone without having instant access to what everyone else was doing and what we were potentially missing out on.
Let’s spin back to educating our children and teens about the importance of conversation, expressing emotions with real words, and potentially dealing with being bored. Within that space lies creativity, intimacy and the capacity to develop relationships.
There is no time like this very minute to begin.
3 THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW
Delete your Social Media for 48 hours
Turn off your social media notifications (for good)
Set up an alternate account where you only follow things that are meaningful to you. News, Design or Imagery that is connected to your work and hobbies. Use this account when you can.
Good Luck!
