The Journey
It feels like a lifetime since I have written.
I find myself in one of those moments where life feels real and significant, the opposite of mundane. I also feel gratitude. I feel grateful for my work. I know that I feel centered by the work I do and have so much love and compassion for the people I work with.
Any instability in the world outside fades away when I am engaged in what I do. It serves as my compass.
I am grateful for my friends and family, in the words of Brene Brown, my people who know where the bodies are buried. They love me from their head to their toes and back up again, and truthfully, I believe I am that person for them as well. I will help bury the bodies right back. With that depth and breadth of support, all things are navigable and conquerable. And I am grateful.
So- where is all this bigness, lifeness, and buried bodies talk coming from? I am rounding the home stretch of my Psychedelic training. It started in July, and now April (finally!!) has arrived. I will be done at the end of May.
But what I find so curious is that the theme of this entire experience is that the journey you have is the journey you need. They say this about the journey when you take the medicine and get on the ride through your mind. But does it also apply to the journey of life itself?
Are parts of our lives the journey that we need, to make us authentically who we are?
When you take a therapeutic dose of psychedelic medicine, you need to prepare yourself for the corners of your mind. A channel will be opened into your mind that you cannot control. That is real, and it is true. And, the reality is, what comes up for you may not be what you think will happen.
The demons directly in front of you, or the joy you believe you are experiencing, may have no place on your journey. Those issues that seem bright and clear in the light of day may not be what the medicine has in store for you. But, there is a reason you are being shown what you are being shown.
In my training, we were in a group; ½ of us took the medicine while the other ½ learned to sit for someone on a journey, and then we changed roles. I think (almost all) clearly understood their journey- even if it was not what they anticipated.
The fascinating part is that I signed up for this training 2.5 years ago. I delayed and delayed it, I had too much on my plate for all of these years.
And they finally told me I would lose my spot if I didn’t do it. So I did it. 2 years after I signed up.
And now, as I near the end of the training, which is in and of itself a journey, I understand that I had been preparing for this training for 2 years. These years have been a time of clarifying, cutting weight (in relationships and work), and entering a place where I am in right relationship with myself and my values. I believe my journey was the gift it was, partially because I have been cleaning out the corners of my mind. Sweeping out the cobwebs and not allowing the shadows to keep things invisible.
My psychedelic training began not in July 2024, but 2 years before that, September of 2022, the moment I signed up. My 2.5-year journey has had all of the things—greatness, fear, sadness, betrayal, joy, and celebration. The past years have been filled to the brim- as so many of our lives are.
But it took me two years to dive all the way in. To be able to let myself experience what I could not control. To trust that I would see what I needed to see and that it would not be more than I could handle.
And so- I am filled with gratitude.
I look back on my very first blog post, July 11th, 2022, and it talks about the importance of people and spaces in our emotional landscape. It is essential to find the places that provide emotional safety, and the people who carry us through and support us every step of the way. I have spent the past 3 years fine-tuning those things.
My specific journey told me this, and now, because I felt it in my journey, it shifted from an intellectual knowing to an absolute belief. I have what I need.
The infamous words- take what you need and leave the rest. Remember- though at times it is hard, we may be having the journey we need.
But if you are unhappy with your course, the agency lies within us to create our lives and experiences.
Step by step we can surround ourselves with the people, places and spaces that return to us as much as we give. That is the way it should be, and I am grateful.
Get to KnowDr. Danielle Shelov
Dr. Shelov's therapeutic approach emphasizes understanding individuals within the context of their families, childhood experiences, relationships, and larger systems as crucial to psychological treatment.
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