Today
My therapist often uses a refrain when I'm feeling frustrated, second-guessing myself, or reflecting on how I could have done things differently.
He will say to me: you are torturing yourself with expectations.
The only thing you can really control is what you do. The impact that it has and the way people respond is simply not up to you. You must let go of the responsibility of wanting others to respond how you want or even hoping they will respond the way you wish.
You can only be in charge of you. Attaching yourself to the outcome will leave you sitting in a pool of unmet expectations.
Personally, I often spin in my head with questions: Did I rush into things? Was I too impulsive? Did my urgency or passion cloud my judgment? We all have our Achilles' heel—the area where our mistakes tend to arise.
Over time, we learn where we falter and the mindset we often have when we make decisions that negatively impact our lives. Perhaps for you, it's being overly cautious, overworking and not giving yourself a break, underworking due to fear of failure, or maybe hesitating to take risks.
It is so important for all of us to identify—what is our Achilles' Heel?
In my work as a therapist, I build on this idea by encouraging my patients to look beyond actions to their underlying intentions. In my experience- most people strive for good. They may be clunky, or say the wrong thing, or even make the wrong call- but the intention is for good.
Understanding and believing this makes it so much easier to be generous with ourselves.
When viewed through the lens of goodness, it becomes easier to forgive ourselves and others to let go of self-judgment, easing the grip of shame and regret.
Perhaps we even aimed for greatness and feel like we failed?
In my eyes, that is impossible because true greatness lies in striving to become the best version of ourselves rather than gaining approval from society or achieving fame.
Every day is a new day, and Today is brand new.
Let the regret and agonizing go. Take what you need and leave the rest behind.
