What’s the Difference Between an Eating Disorder and Disordered Eating?
This month, I’m tackling the most frequently asked questions. Last week, I covered the top five signs of an eating disorder (ED). Now, let’s discuss a common follow-up:
What distinguishes disordered eating from a clinical eating disorder?
This question is a conundrum. The reason that it is so hard to tease apart these concepts - Disordered Eating vs. Eating Disorder is because most of us, at some point or another, have had an over-preoccupation with food and bodies.
There are times or moments in our lives when we “feel fat” or “can’t fit into our clothes”, or just wish we looked more like the images that scroll incessantly across our screens. In fact- a recent study found that 88% of people are preoccupied with food and their bodies. That is a startling percentage.
When our teens come to us with frustration around their completely regular bodies, which are 100% appropriate- we often don’t know what to do or say because we also know the environment they are surrounded by.
We say- ‘you are beautiful the way you are’- or- ‘you are not seeing yourself clearly’. Yet we also know the diets and fads that are everywhere. The explicit emphasis on food restriction- not to mention the completely unattainable images surrounding us that we cannot unsee. We understand their anguish and confusion.
How do we know when to rationalize eating changes, and when do we say something? How can we read between the lines of words and behavior?
The thing I emphasize when I am working in eating- is that ambiguity is not our friend.
Clarity is our ally; do not buy into vague excuses that don’t seem to answer the questions you are asking.
Question: “Did you have dinner?”
Answer: “I had a big lunch.”
Question: “What did you have for lunch today?”
Answer: “The food at school is disgusting- no one can eat it.”
Neither of those questions were actually answered. Don’t let it go- get answers.
When it comes to our kids- I like to be clear and succinct. Below are the things I want to know when trying to delineate between a disorder that needs an acute intervention and a disordered thought process that needs to be talked about- but is not setting off alarm bells.
These questions apply to all of us at every age:
Do you organize your life around food, or is food simply one part of your life?
Do you make multiple decisions based on what you “can” or “cannot” eat?
Can you enjoy any restaurant because the most important thing is who you are with- not the quality of food that you eat?
Do you feel good or bad about yourself based on what you’ve eaten that day? I.e I feel good if I have eaten avocado, bad if I have eaten bread?
If someone else planned your meals for a day, would this cause you overwhelming anxiety?
The true difference between disordered eating and a full-blown eating disorder lies in how much it disrupts your ability to live a normal life. This is how I determine if disordered eating has crossed the line into an eating disorder. Anytime something is interfering with the life you live, and you are no longer feeling the joy and freedom you once did- we must intervene.
When food control takes priority over our happiness and relationships, the line has been crossed.
Stay tuned for: What do I do now? How do I get help? This will be your roadmap for when you know there is a problem.
If you are struggling and don’t know where to go- let us know. We are here to help you navigate your path.
Get to KnowDr. Danielle Shelov
Dr. Shelov's therapeutic approach emphasizes understanding individuals within the context of their families, childhood experiences, relationships, and larger systems as crucial to psychological treatment.
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